STRONG BODY, STRONG MIND: Identity Crisis

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Do you may have a health id? Maybe you’re a runner. A powerlifter. A tennis participant. A pickleballer. A bicycle owner.

Perhaps you’re a recovering highschool athlete, discovering your stride in a brand new section of life. Maybe you’re a gardener, a swimmer, a dancer.

To me, all of those identities — and the health modalities they signify — are stunning.

My checklist solely begins to scratch the floor of attainable personalities we assume after we transfer our our bodies. However what all such identities have in frequent is that they’re nouns: They’ll fill within the clean on the finish of “I’m a ______.”

“I’m” is a robust assertion. Framing an motion this fashion will help somebody stand of their fact. In health, being a factor will help develop a way of seriousness, of belonging, of consistency, of neighborhood.

I dabbled in several “I’m” statements over time till I discovered one that basically resonated. In highschool, I attempted “I’m a dancer.” Later, it was “I’m a yoga practitioner,” “I’m an indoor bicycle owner,” and “I’m a runner.”

None of those identities fairly match — not as a result of there was something improper with the actions, however as a result of I may by no means recover from the hump of what I believed being a dancer, yoga devotee, bicycle owner, or runner meant. Every of those actions had a stereotypical look and stage of efficiency.

By shopping for into the stereotypes as a substitute of discovering every motion for what it was, I put up limitations. If I didn’t look a sure approach or carry out on the highest stage, I couldn’t let myself declare “I’m” any of these items.

The primary time I actually recognized with a selected bodily exercise was in my late 20s, when immediately the reply to each query — “What do you do for train?” “Who’re your pals?” “The place do you want to hang around?” — may very well be summed up with the phrase “I’m a CrossFitter.”

I ended on the lookout for an exercise that might outline me.
As a substitute, I started exploring all types of various actions simply because.

Every little thing in my world and worldview started to revolve round District CrossFit, my “field” in Washington, D.C. I relished it. For the primary time in my life, I felt like an athlete.

I fell in love with lifting weights. I developed a constant exercise routine. I grew stronger and fitter. I turned happier and extra related socially.

I hope that should you’re rolling your eyes and on the brink of knock CrossFit, you’ll be able to take a deep breath and mentally swap it with one other  exercise. The purpose right here isn’t that CrossFit is nice. The purpose is just that for the primary time ever, I may say “I’m a . . . ” with regard to health.

As you could have guessed, the “I’m a CrossFitter” section got here to an finish. I moved midway throughout the nation and located a brand new, non-box gymnasium in Minneapolis. I started testing out a revised model of my assertion: “I’m a lifter.”

Simply because it began to stay, nevertheless, I slipped on ice and harm myself badly sufficient that I couldn’t carry something.

It felt as if the rug — er, lifting platform — had been pulled out from below me. Who am I if I can’t carry weights? I puzzled. This inevitably led to a extra existential query: Who am I?

On a human stage, I spotted I didn’t actually know myself. And that modified the tone of how I’d work out from then on.

I ended fixating on a selected objective. I ended on the lookout for an exercise that might outline me. As a substitute, I started exploring all types of various actions simply because. I used to be unfettered by the concern that one sport would intrude with one other.

I attempted stand-up paddleboarding and flying trapeze, kettlebell coaching and long-distance climbing. I ended nominalizing my actions and centered on having fun with and benefiting from the actions themselves.

As a substitute of I’m a runner, I’d assume I’m working now. As a substitute of I’m a lifter, I attempted I’m lifting this weight now. As my longtime coach, Mark Schneider, described it, I started “verbing” my life.

Right this moment, I stay an energetic life. Motion definitely is a part of my id. However what I do for train not defines me.

This text initially appeared as “Identification Disaster” within the December 2022 problem of Expertise Life.