Has it actually been that lengthy since I used to be full swing consuming dysfunction? It’s loopy that I had to have a look at my Fb albums to even determine what 12 months this was it was so way back. I needed to do a check-in as a result of I do know wholesome meals and train obsession is one thing that numerous us wrestle with. It’s a part of my wellness story anyway, and thru the ups and down has helped me be taught lots about myself.
Davida and I’ve spent some a lot wanted R&R collectively the previous few weeks speaking about every part from enterprise, to friendship, to wellness, to podcasts. She has actually impressed me to lastly sit down and simply write. I’m so laborious on myself in relation to writing as a result of I’ve individuals like her and my sister in my life the place writing simply appears really easy and seamless. Whereas I all the time inform individuals I suck at writing; Davida has jogged my memory that “no Lee…you don’t suck at it, you simply want to sit down down and do it.” So right here we go.
PS: I reduce my hair ^^
In case you are unfamiliar with my story…click on HERE. That ought to show you how to perceive issues I’m referring to inside this submit!
So. It’s been a full 6 years since I used to be within the warmth of my anorexia and train dependancy. After which got here the binge consuming. Humorous the way it will get simpler to say these phrases as time goes on. I get numerous questions on my restoration and I need to begin off by saying that it DEFINITELY didn’t occur over night time. I imply, I used to be in denial that I used to be even affected by any type of consuming dysfunction till one 12 months into my restoration. Loads of individuals assume that restoration is as simple as consuming a rattling cheeseburger, nevertheless it’s so extra greater than that. Consuming problems are a type of MENTAL ILLNESS. Mine was triggered by extreme melancholy and anxiousness. Like numerous ED tales you might learn, meals and train had been two variables that I had 100% management over. If energy in had been lower than energy out- I may see the dimensions drop. Properly, letting the dimensions drop from 155 (what I’m now, truly!) to 118 in 3 months is HELLA unhealthy. I’ve an obsessive character so if I used to be going to get better I wanted to focus that power on one thing else. HELLO FIT FOODIE FINDS.
I give numerous credit score to this weblog for serving to to middle my thoughts on what actually is essential in my life. It’s not about trying a sure means or doing the issues that everybody else is doing, it’s dwelling each day with objective and lifting up these round me via positivity (and HUMOR). Woah, humor is a giant one. In case you ain’t laughin’, we acquired a problem individuals. I carry up humor as a result of that is one thing that I actually misplaced about myself throughout this darkish time. I used to be so inflexible and stark and boring. I’m so completely satisfied to be again to my “regular” quirky/bizarre self as a result of one thing that I actually imagine is- “for those who’re not bizarre, you’re boring.”
TODAY
I nonetheless have these moments the place I hate the squishies on abdomen and I feel again to the time once I had a 6 pack after which I picture getting slapped within the face with a uncooked piece of meat….as a result of LIFE IS GOOD. I’m pleased with my physique and what it does for me each day. I’m proud that I can do an 8 mile hike up a Norwegian mountain and really feel sturdy. I’m proud that I can maintain a plank for two minutes. I’m proud that I can run a 5k with out stopping. I’m proud that I’ve to go up a measurement in pants as a result of I’ve big quads. I’m additionally proud that I’ve surrounded myself with individuals in my life who’re equally as pleased with me for these issues as I’m.
Having an incredible tribe of individuals in my life has been key to my on a regular basis happiness. Mark has been an exquisite addition to this tribe inside the final 12 months. Whether or not he is aware of it or not…he’s a physique optimistic man and makes me really feel lovely. Plus- he knew me once I was 17 and awkward. It’s the individuals like Mark, and Linley, and Emily, and Davida, and Lindsey, and Monique and my sister/brother/fam bam that reinsure me each day that I’m not alone on this world of perfection. That it’s okay for me to eat a donut and it’s okay for me to haven’t one, however two or three relaxation days every week. WOAH. The cool factor is, I’m lastly okay with this, too.
I’m in a very good place proper now despite the fact that the previous 12 months has been actually powerful for my well being. Whats up damaged foot and worse than common seasonal melancholy (one thing I haven’t actually touched on). Oh, and I additionally had a serious breakup final Could, which was actually troublesome on my psychological well being. All of THAT apart…I’m completely satisfied. As dumb as this sounds- I really like my life. I adore it as a result of I CHOSE to construct it this manner.
My message to people who endure with an consuming dysfunction, melancholy, anxiousness, or any type of psychological sickness is that YOU ARE ENOUGH. You might be precisely how you might be suppose to be at this very second.
